How to Find Time for Hobbies (Even in the Chaos of Motherhood)

Let’s just say it out loud:

Finding time for yourself in this season can feel… laughable.

Like, sure, I’ll just squeeze in a hobby between snacks, laundry, and someone yelling “MOM” from the other room.

When I was pregnant, I asked other moms what to expect.

The answers were… not encouraging.

“Say goodbye to your free time.”
“Hope you didn’t like having a life.”

And everyone laughed.

But here’s the thing no one really says:

That mindset sticks.

We joke about burnout like it’s part of the job.
Like losing yourself is just… what good moms do.

And I don’t buy that.

You don’t have to disappear to be a good mom.
You don’t have to run yourself into the ground to prove you love your kids.

You’re allowed to have a life inside motherhood.

Now—before we go any further—

There are absolutely seasons where survival mode is real.

Newborn stage?
Sleep deprivation?
Sick kids, no help, just trying to get through the day?

Your “hobby” might be sitting down for 10 uninterrupted minutes.

That counts.

But outside of those intense seasons?

There’s usually more space than it feels like.

Not huge chunks of time.

But small openings.

And that’s where this starts.

You Don’t Need More Time—You Need a Way to See It

Most of us aren’t lacking time entirely.

We’re lacking usable time.

The kind that feels:

• uninterrupted (or close enough)
• low-pressure
• actually yours

So instead of asking:

“Where do I find hours of free time?”

Start asking:

“Where are the 10–20 minute pockets I’m overlooking?”

Because those are everywhere.

They just don’t look like “free time.”

Step 1: Look at Your Day (Without Judging It)

I know—this sounds obvious. But most of us are guessing what our days look like.

We’re not actually seeing them. Write out a real day.

Not your ideal day.
Not your “on top of everything” day.

Your actual, slightly chaotic, real-life day.

Then look for:

• the 15 minutes after bedtime where you scroll because your brain is fried
• the time during naps where you default to chores
• the in-between moments you mentally write off as “not enough time”

That’s your starting point.

Not perfect time.

Just… available time.

Step 2: Fix What’s Draining You (Even a Little)

Some parts of your day will jump out immediately.

The ones that feel like: why is this so hard every single day?

Start there.

For me, mornings used to completely wreck me.

Outfits = meltdown.
Breakfast = chaos.
Everyone = somehow stressed before 9am.

So I made a few small changes:

• outfits picked the night before and simplified (bought a bulk pack of black leggings for my toddler, less meltdown over what pants to wear)
• muffins prepped ahead of time and in the freezer
• my husband took over one piece of the routine

Did it fix everything? No.

Did it make mornings feel 20% easier? Yes.

And that 20% matters. Because it gives you energy back.

-> And here’s the part most people miss:

It’s not just about saving time.

It’s about saving decision fatigue.

When your brain isn’t constantly solving problems,
you actually have energy left for something else.

Step 3: Stop Waiting for the “Perfect Window”

This one gets a lot of us.

We think:

• “I’ll start when things calm down”
• “I need at least an hour to make it worth it”
• “I want to be able to focus”

And then… it never happens.

This is exactly where I got stuck before I started all of this.

(If you’ve ever googled “hobbies” like a confused adult, same. I wrote about that whole phase here.)

The shift for me was this:

I stopped waiting for the perfect setup…
and started using what I had.

20 minutes.
Sometimes less.

Messy, interrupted, not ideal.

Still counts.

Step 4: Protect Your Time (Without Making It a Whole Thing)

You don’t need a big speech.
You don’t need a full system.

But you do need to stop giving your time away automatically.

This can look like:

• saying no to something you don’t actually have capacity for
• not volunteering for everything
• letting something be “good enough” instead of perfect

And yes—this can feel uncomfortable at first.

Especially if you’re used to being the reliable one.

But every yes has a cost.

And usually… that cost is you.

Step 5: Let People Help You (Without the Spiral)

This one is harder than it should be.

Because asking for help feels loaded, but here’s the reframe:

You’re not asking someone to rescue you. You’re giving them a chance to show up for you.

And help doesn’t have to look like:

“Can you take my kids for 3 hours?”

It can look like:

• “Can you grab one thing for me while you’re out?”
• “Can we trade an hour this week?”
• “Can you handle bedtime tonight?”

Start small. Make it normal.

Because trying to do everything alone?

That’s what keeps you stuck.

What This Actually Looks Like in Real Life

This isn’t about suddenly having tons of free time.

It’s about:

• noticing small pockets
• making tiny adjustments
• protecting just enough space
• and actually using it

Some days it’ll work.

Some days it won’t.

Some days your “hobby time” will get interrupted 14 times.

Still counts.

Because this isn’t about perfection.

It’s about momentum.

If You’re Sitting There Thinking “Okay…But What Do I Actually Do?”

That’s the other half of this.

Not just finding time—but knowing what to do with it.

If you want something simple to start with,
I made a 20-Minute Starter Kit for this exact reason.

It includes:

• easy, try-tonight hobby ideas
• simple ways to actually take 20 minutes (without the guilt spiral)
• and a plan you can come back to when life inevitably gets chaotic again

Nothing overwhelming.
Nothing you have to commit to long-term.

Just a way in.

→ Get the 20-Minute Starter Kit